No news... good news?

I stood in my room after i'd had dinner with my housemates last night.

The topic of conversation aver dinner was: "are we renewing the contract on the house"
Is is seemingly getting rather urgent: 25th Jan is renewal date and its for sure a- looming.

However i'm STILL not sure what the hell is going on still.

ready for the list? with percentages rated in perfection so I can do the maths after....
1) Move to uk to work: 95% perfect job
2) Stay in SG for work (new contract, new job): 50% Ok job
3) No man in UK: 0%
4) Lovely Lovely Boyfrined who makes me very happy and i'm a lot in love with: 90% perfect (bloody good going I thought!)
5) Nice weather all year round: 50% (I miss the cold days and Autumn)
6) The kind of weather you complain about: 30% (I like a bit of cold and wet)

So:

UK = 95% + 0% + 30% = 125

Singapore = 50% + 90% + 40% =190

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Plus my best friend (who lives with her boyfriend) replied to a text I sent to her last night with this:

"Lets see, you've got a great bloke, a great job, great climate.. living it up!..

Im Skint, it's 3 degrees outside and we're having beans on tost for tea.

Decision made? x "

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My friend: (the newly engaged one) said via text:

"oh no, its so hard to know what to do. If you really dont enjoy it anymore then you should move back to the UK. But i think, maybe things would be different if you were in a new job?

You just dont want to leave Singapore with any regrets about what might have been

Particularly with you and C**** (boyfriends name)"

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So I called my other friend (the one with the husband and the baby)

and spoke to her:

the long and short of it was: put your personal life 1st.

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Then I text The Good Doctor. (whom i travelled to Japan with) (who is 34, male, single and has more interest in cats and quizzing than females/marriage/babies)

"you have to do what is right for you. be SELFISH. you probably know what my advice

will be, but only you can know if that is also what is right. but i'd say the job everytime"

note; he wrote the whole thing in low case apart from his favorite word.

( i miss the good doctor although he is an arsehole)

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so i text my boyfriend:

                                                 

"i love you"

Reply:

'i love you too'















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there WILL be fireworks

melodrama.

Its 7 working days untill I leave my current contract...

My work life balance has become toxic

Its time.

youngling

I am reading a book at the moment, which made me remember about the time I was in a Navity play as a child.

I honestly can't remember which part I played... but I do remember this:

I didn't learn my lines
and I was a bit embarrassed.

this is not an actual photo:

UFO?

A few days ago I saw a UFO.

I think.

I was green.
It however could have been a firework.... Or a shooting star?

So I wished on it, just incase.

News form home.

My sister, the older, wiser one... got engaged at New Year...

My Friend from school... the funny, lovely one... got engaged on the 27th Dec, her birthday

My Friend from school... the fun one who lives in Perth Australia... got engaged around christmas.

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and just before that

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My friend from school... the one who never had a boyfriend before, met "the one" and... got engaged.

Congratulations to them.

Am i left on the shelf?

                 



Locked out

Honestly, im sure i've been locked out of my life....

I feel a bit like i have forgotten my password to my account, or indeed, my brain and my life controls...



I have been offered 3 out of 5 jobs... 2 in the UK, and 1 in Singapore. which is good. which means i can stay here in Singapore with my fella.

But i have a niggling feeling that i should leave and go to London and accept the job which has been offered to me. For my career its a good move, but for my life its a terrible move.

Except here, in Singapore i dont have much of a life, apart from partys and drinking, and of course him, there is not much else goinig on. Is it odd that i miss Tesco shoping and pottering around in the cold? i miss my car and now jsut a little bit, my family too. He too misses everyting about home, except, home for him is Canada.

Do i want to move to Canada? Sure, why not, in a heartbeat i'd follow him: but, i can't work in Canada. My professional registration won't allow me too.

Will he move to London? Sure... "just give me a year" he said.

So, Will i give him a year? At the forsaking of my career.. i'm not sure.

-Also: The new job in Singapore is about to make me a financial offer. I'm negotiationg my pay and conditions today, at 5pm, in 3 hours time.

Ill keep you in the loop.
nervous.