A Tiger Year

So to start- Happy new year- Chinese style that is- it’s the year of the tiger- so grab a “tiger” beer and have one on me... not in Singapore though- they are too bloody expensive.. So should have bought shares in that beer!!!

Well today may be the day when Singapore finally feels a bit more like home- it’s been over a month since I left the UK, and with a wobbly first week where I felt SG was all high rises and people living like worms- underground in shopping malls- I’m now feeling pretty settled in.

Work is going great and the days are going fast, but all the running about here and there is tiring and it’s SO HOT! Depending on how much you can afford when it comes to your hospital stay,  you can stay in Ward A B C or D, A is an palatial, air conditioned heaven, of private bedrooms and one to one care, and D is a hell hole hot pit of despair, ceiling fans and brown slop for food. It is generally horrific! Ward D was the location of a job, and swear I lost half a stone in sweat weight, it was running off me- minging I hear you say!!  You know its hot when the front of your knees sweat – GIP.

The Doctors ate obnoxious little gits too- they have the super ego of 1960’s doctor complete with bizarre overrated opinions of themselves the God Complex on these kids is insane…they are all “I worked really hard in med school for the last 6 years of my life and who exactly are you to tell me that im wrong….?”

The savior of the wards and no doubt of all hospitals are the nurses and the student nurses who are an amazing whirlwind of blue and green and flying about the wards like blue arse fly’s, they wipe up, feed, change, groom, nurse and cuddle patients back to health and most importantly for me, translate!

Today I have learnt more mandarin-

Tong ma? Where is the pain

Ne how ma? How are you

Im getting ok with the easy stuff!! I can also say “hot guy” “pretty girl” and “what’s your phone number” – handy!! (Although the nurses didn’t teach me that!!)

But as for the other languages, hokkien, Indian of all varieties, Malay and Cantonese- I think they can wait!

Singlish- now there’s a conquest of a language- they use English words mixed with Malay and Mandarin and smack weird Singaporean bits on the end...

Cinema can lah? (Fancy the cinema later?) And Mercedes Benz husband got lah! (My husband has a Merc)- I have started putting can lah on all my sentences and i say can as a response to “can you do this for me??” Singlish is funny- totally useless though, as you can speak to anyone normally and they understand you and respond normally so I have no idea in the slightest how this type of language developed.

 The transport is an adventure too- the MRT (mass rapid transit) is like the tube only mush cleaner cooler and you can retain full use of electronics to game and use internet and phone...

Rather surprising being that in London everything signal based dies 10 meters below the ground, but I reckon if the signal here died, there would be uproar. Singapore apparently is notorious for its lack of “breeding” the Government are trying to encourage baby making… well, I think I found a solution- No signal on the MRT. At least that way the people would look up for a few minutes and maybe catch the eye of a fellow commuter, and Bang. Love. Sex and BABIES!

I did get a glance from a Singaporean bloke the other day, he glanced up for 3 seconds before winking and then... back to super Mario brothers for the I phone… come to think of it and hindsight is a wonderful thing, maybe, he was just blinking his gaming fatigue from his eyes. . . . ?

The bus- 2 options air conned or not. Very efficient though and quick.

Taxis are cheap and quick and plentiful- I got in one on my way home from work today as a $7 treat, it had a TV in it! Awesomeness.

Still loving my place, my housemates are coolio- a couple from the UK, A Tahitian dancing instructor with a job in HR and American/Chinese Architect...

We had a good Chinese new year (12-15^th Feb.) ate drank and danced alot... the CNY meal was cooked by American Chinese Architect’s parents and we had a right house full

.. Food was ok- im not sure it was worth the calories though! Stingray is lovely, Sea weed was real, jellyfish is crunchy and the texture is just simply horrible and Thai caviar is well- just plain disgusting. And Pigs trotters… Really!?.. I enjoyed the sweet and sour chicken though-, my British pallet is still not quite refined to all the dishes out here... Generally food is cheap quick plentiful and delicious- although I think im hooked on the MSG ridden soups they make. Yummy salty loveliness served with any roasted delight (char Sui or duck and rice!!)- The noodles are to die for. Chopsticks however are not...

Frankly noodles and chopsticks are not a good combination- you may as well give me a pair of javelins and tell me to eat with those and I’d have more success- rice and wooden chopsticks I can manage if the thought of your teeth on wood doesn’t go through you- like it does me!! Cringe! So fork and spoon it is- plus a giggle from the man selling the food to the Ang Mo.

Ang Mo- the white, literal translation of white skin & red hair.

So- “yellow fever” is one of my favorite terms- it’s all the Expats call white guys who chase the Asian girls-

Symptoms include- the love of anatomical tightness, ego boost and spending money on said Asian girl...

There is no female equivalent- although my friend Kelly says she has yellow fever- so her symptoms include chasing shy men, with little desire for an Ang mo as they don’t like taking them home and- eh hem excuse the stereotype- but she’s confirmed its true- small cocks

Hilarious stuff.

So there is plenty more of this to come- lets just say I like Singapore alot- a truly clean and lovely place where skin colour doesn’t matter one bit- no fights happen (well not that I’ve seen) easy of travel round the island is grand- cheap weekend trips to Cambodia, Thailand, Malaysia, Borneo, Bali, Tokyo, Beijing, Hong Kong etc are plentiful.. It’s a bit like popping to Paris or Barcelona. Only much much hotter... Singapore is definitely the place for me- for a bit, for now, forever maybe!? Who knows what will happen... But no regrets.